Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
