There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Randomize
