I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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