Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I can't turn off my feet"
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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