Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
