I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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