Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
