I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i came on her dog
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
