I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
