Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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