Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
