he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
