ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
