omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
