How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
