if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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