So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
