So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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