No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
