pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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