i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
