another moral hangover. fuck.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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