My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
