I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
