all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
You are the jesus of drinking
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I think my moral compass just broke
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
