I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
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