If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
