I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I will be naked everywhere
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
