Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
