no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
