You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
