I didn't shave. On purpose
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
