For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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