Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
