I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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