That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
