Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
