it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
