i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
