the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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