every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
