just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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