I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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