I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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