Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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