sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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