you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
last night I used snow as a chaser
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
