That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
