I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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