Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Randomize
