This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
if only i could text you this smell
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
