1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
