i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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