Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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