Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
