he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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