btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
